[Video]

[whatwas]

[Horst is awake after the event ends, and for the first time all week he heads outside. He hasn't had his PCD on, or if he has he didn't answer it. And in fact he's not planning to now, but the verdammt thing is in his jacket pocket.

He has Basil the stuffed rabbit under one arm, and the sock puppet held in a fist. He fills it with a few rocks, ties it off, and throws it so far the PCD wouldn't have been able to see it even if it had been angled in its direction.

The feed times out before he can be bothered to realize it's on.]

Comments

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

No wonder. The thing was ugly. [Not helping and completely unsincere about this. She's back to that comfortable "I don't like or care about anything" way of hers.]

You can keep both rabbits.

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[And he doesn't defend himself or play into it and insult himself. He just ignores it, perhaps doesn't hear it.]

No. I don't want--

You take them.

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

We used to share... responsibilities [her love is obviously what she truly means.] when it came to her.

You can't expect me to take everything now. [You're being selfish. It feels like you're throwing all the pain and memories at her. Like you expect her to cope with everything, always. But she's not that strong.]

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

...Yes. I'll keep it.

[He rubs his face, not looking at the PCD.]

Can you spend part of the day with me? [While he's 'asleep' he means.] Notably, the part where I'll be waking up?

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

Both of them. [She corrects. Basil and Xavier.]

... [She's about to ask why, but decides against it. Whatever the reason, she won't deny him that anyway.] If that's what you want. And if I get to wake up to you as well. [It's only fair.]

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst nods, bending to her wishes instantly.]

What time are you getting up?

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven snorts softly at that. She's hardly managed to sleep at all lately.]

I wake up several times a night, and usually get up before dawn. [So she's be awake when he falls 'asleep'.] ...Come tonight?

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

All right. Give me an hour, I just need to...think.

[Video//Private//Unhackable]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Take your time. [She needs to think too anyway. She clutches her cloak tightly around her frame and tries to look as detached as she can.] I'm gonna get myself some tea.

[Offline]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst arrives less than an hour later, smelling of moonshine and other alcohols. But he walks steadily enough, and just hugs her.]

[Offline]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven smells of various spices she puts in her tea. When he hugs her, she lets him. But it's as if she's too weak to return it. She bites her lips because she won't cry again. And her voice is a bare whisper.] You're here.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

All night. [He just holds her close, unmoving except once when he kisses the top of her head.]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[The kiss has her reaching up to cradle his face with both hands. She hadn't meant only for the night. But she doesn't say it out loud.] We can go back to your place before dawn if you'd rather.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

No, here is fine. We'll just block up the windows. [Because he doesn't plan on leaving her tomorrow or the day after or at all, until she tells him to get out. But--like her--it's not something he will say aloud.]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[She nods.] We'll do that. Come now. [She takes his hand and lead him down the corridor. As she enters her room she lets go of him and goes to sit down on her bed. And she looks away, through the window.] Do you think I've been a good sister to her? ...I never had a sister before.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst watches her for a few seconds, and then kneels on the floor in front of her so he's looking up at her for once.]

You were the most perfect sister I could imagine. [He means that completely sincerely.] ...She never felt as safe with anyone as she did with you.

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven shakes her head slowly. Before she looks down at him with a small smile.] She felt safe with you too. You and Ciel were her knights. [She scouts back on the bed so he can climb next to her.] Knights are the most important ones for a princess. [And believe her, she's read fairytales. She knows.]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

I'd say you make a much more effective knight than I do.

[He climbs up beside her.]

But if she was a princess, you are, too.

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

A princess? Me?

[She chuckles softly.]

A dark princess with an evil Father and who slays dragons. Pretty dull story. Nobody would want to read that.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[He gives her a look clearly asking 'are you serious']

Yes, yes. The tales of King Arthur, or all those knights slaying dragons, or good people in horrible situations doing the best they can...very dull.

[He nudges her] First off, you're a superhero. And secondly, and more importantly, you're fighting to have a life you'll be happy with. Now, that may not sound atypical but I don't think there is anyone else in my life who has the odds stacked up against them like you do. That's why you're a knight or a princess or a superhero. Not because of your powers.

...Well, maybe a little because of your powers, but they are very impressive.

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[She shakes her head.] But at the end of those stories, the hero wins. And everybody's happy. That's why they're the hero. In my story, the princess fights against her nature until that day when she finally gives in to her destiny, because she was never meant to win. And then the world is destroyed and everyone dies. ...Believe me people don't like stories in which the hero fails.

[Raven falls back on her bed, grabbing a pillow and pressing it against her face long enough to muffle a scream.] I hate those powers. I will never be able to fully control them. And if the Devil ever manages to get enough influence on me, I might kill someone. ...Back home, I almost did. Twice. [She looks away from Horst. That's a confession she's never made to anyone.] If Robin hadn't been there to stop me, I would have.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst stretches out on his stomach beside her.]

There is a very good chance you will fail. It's almost guaranteed I will someday become a monster. But no one shies away, and when Usagi saved me--just as Robin stopped you--I realized something.

It's worth it to her to be in this part of my 'story'. And it's worth it to me to be in yours, because the girl here with me is still fighting. We might both be damned, but right now, we're living. And even if you gave in, I would remember you as this girl, the one who's terrified and facing Hell but still able to find reasons to fight.

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

[Raven shakes her head.] No, you won't. Not as long as I'll be here, because I'll save you. [She closes her eyes and reaches for his soul. A soft smile appears on her lips, it feels like it echoes deep within her.]

I'm not a terrified little girl, thank you very much. [She sits up and hits the back of his head with the pillow as if to prove her point. Then she falls back down and chuckles softly, and a bit nervously too.] Azar... I'm truly pathetic.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

Ow! [It didn't hurt, he's just playing it up for sympathy. But he smiles softly, watching her.]

What's pathetic about you? [Because he does not believe it.]

[feel-nevermore.livejournal.com]

You know what's the first thought I had this morning? At least Lucifer won't be able to use her anymore to get to me, and use me. [She snorts softly.] As if he truly needed that.

Alice made me stronger. Because I felt I needed to be strong for her. ...I'm pathetic because I'm scared of the Devil and scared of myself. So different from people like Rei who have confidence in themselves and in their abilities to change things. [The last part is said so softly, it's hard to hear it. And she looks him in the eye when she says so.] As for me... I need people to trust me and believe in me to believe in myself. It's pathetic.