[Video // Private to Yuca]

[whatwas]

Have a question for you.

[For as unusually brief as Horst is being, he seems very relaxed. Content, even.]

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[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

Nothing.

[His voice is so low, Yuca wouldn't have been able to hear him if they weren't so close together. There's something different about Yuca, different from the last time he saw him, and Horst is determined not to take it as a hopeful sign.

He lightly rests his forehead against Yuca's, as he struggles to just get a clear thought in his head, just one verdammt thought that doesn't involve the thought of Yuca, the color of his eyes or the straightness of his hair, the feel of Yuca's cheek against his palm or the softness of his lips--

And then it wasn't just a thought anymore, but something Horst realized he was doing.]

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[neverquitedies.livejournal.com]

[Yuca didn't realize that Horst had intended to kiss him until their lips were actually pressed together, softly, tentatively. He still hurt from their scuffle- his back and his cheek and his stomach- but this distracted him from that, a little. It was nice. Quaint. Horst was attracted to him.

And as logic gave way to emotion, Yuca suddenly realized that he wasn't sure quite how to deal with it. Obviously, react accordingly, which was exactly what he was figuring out how to do- but besides that? He didn't know what he felt. Yuca wasn't quite overwhelmed with emotion, but by this point, his hollow shell of a body had been so unused to it, that when it finally did trickle in, he didn't really know what to do with the sudden feeling. Horst was kissing him. Slowly, finally, Yuca moved back against him, returning the kiss with a little flutter in his pulse.]

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[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst himself hadn't had this in mind until a second before it happened. He had been surprised at himself, but stunned by Yuca.

Where Yuca barely felt a thing, Horst felt too much for his liking; when he was attracted to someone he preferred it to be light, superficial and easily satiated. Now, though, the grief and anger and fear from the past month just weighed down on the deeper feelings he'd been ignoring he had for Yuca. It made the kiss deeper, just a touch greedier, instead of Horst pulling away he pressed closer.]

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[neverquitedies.livejournal.com]

[As the kiss intensified, Yuca found himself losing a bit into it. His logic and calm reasoning was turning up dry, and when he wondered why he hadn't broken it off yet... well, he really couldn't figure it out. Unfortunately.

Pressed up against the pillar- undignified, to be sure, but Yuca couldn't bring himself to care- the real world slowly started seeping back in. He was cold. Horst wasn't much help in the bodyheat department (though he wasn't as cold as the pillar behind him, that was always something), and his injuries were starting to become painful.

It was the strangest sensation- part of him wanted to press closer, kiss harder, let this continue- but the more rational part was more concerned with him catching a cold or injuring himself further. In the end, it was the second piece that won out, as he pulled back, breaking the kiss, breathless and wide-eyed with a belated surprise.]

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[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst looked at him, as stunned as Yuca if not more. His first thought was that he wanted to kiss him again, he didn't want it to just be over.

Mina.

What was he doing? Yuca didn't even remember him, for God's sake.]

I'm sorry if that....

[He couldn't find a way to accurately finish the sentence.]

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[neverquitedies.livejournal.com]

No. It's alright.

[It came out shakier than he wanted it to. Damnit. Yuca bit down on his lower lip and took a deep breath, shaking his head. What were they doing?]

...I think our practice is over.

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[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[He finally lets go of Yuca's other hand--somewhere along the way he'd twined their fingers, he can't remember when. Then he steps back, not quite looking at Yuca]

Yeah. I think so.

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[neverquitedies.livejournal.com]

[Yuca nodded halfheartedly, letting his hands fall limply at his sides. Awkwardly, he shrugged, stepping away from the pillar and from Horst, unable to quite meet the other man's eyes.]

I'm going to go home. I- suppose I'll see you around.

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[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'll contact you.

[He half-watches Yuca go, and leans against the pillar.]

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[neverquitedies.livejournal.com]

[Yuca didn't waste much time. He collected his sword, fastened it to his belt, and was gone with nothing but the creak of the front door to see him off.

Had he had his entire soul, it wouldn't have been that big of a deal- he could have laughed it off, used it to manipulate Horst, and pushed their game further. But now that he didn't have those memories, that manipulative streak, the drive to tear people apart... Yuca didn't know what to do. He was torn between his apathy and the odd, dim emotions that were just starting to bubble up as his fractured soul slowly started to heal itself. And he didn't know how to deal with it, didn't know how to comprehend this sudden rush of feeling, those inconsequential memories that suddenly flickered to life behind his eyes.

As he reached his doorstep, Yuca finally considered the idea that maybe Horst didn't quite know what he was doing either.]